A professor once told me that I had the gift of the gab and it was at best a compliment of the twisted kind since she implied that my presentation lacked content even though I sold it well.
It has been a talisman that I have staunchly relied upon to get me through many uncomfortable meetings and interviews from then on.
In theory, meeting new people is exciting and exhilarating but in reality at least in my case the bundles of nerves and the anxiety of inadvertently saying something offensive at the least and making a total and utter fool of myself at the most accompany me throughout.
Of course, it doesn't help that in the years after I learned to spell my thoughts, literally and figuratively, a protective brittle shell also called a guard in the local lingo has gone up and grown higher and thicker like an invisible exoskeleton of a certain crawling annoyance.
And if an impulsive blabbermouth like me can have one the chances that most everyone I run into will have a sturdier one are definitely sky high.
Given this scenario, it is now easy to understand the slow death of this art form which enabled one to talk to another in forced upon situations without letting your companion know any better about your discomfort.
All this hullabaloo about being straight forward and saying what is on your mind with no pretense whatsoever has given rise to smart alecks who use this so called virtue to the worst use possible i.e. making fools of themselves and not entertaining ones at that.
Not to sound like a coiffed and gartered, early last century, progressive and educated woman of means but why should one say everything that comes into one's consciousness?
The self flattering notion that all our thoughts are important is something I prescribe to as well, but the important to whom part of it becomes a pertinent issue here.
Certainly, all my random thoughts may not be gold but strung together or seen through a mental microscope in retrospect, some may definitely be insightful into what makes me tick. Therefore they might be important in that sense only and unless I am Sheldon Cooper gone wild in the real world, off the television sight, such all pervading sense of omnipotence needs to be held in check in relation to another being and paraded on a personal stage with a complete set of arc lights, with a strict,
To make small talk, in practice to make oneself small, insignificant to allow the other to fare well in comparison often helps in getting past their inhibitions. Imagine, if both parties in the conversation practiced this, they could go on for hours just talking about inane things, drawing out the other one into a comfort zone, where each after successfully, secretly patting themselves on the back could gladly come forth and froth at the mouth about their rigid opinions.
In that context, it is possible that even two contradicting points of view could be gladly presented without a bar room brawl or any such coquettish display of vanity and a mutually acceptable agree to disagree decision could be made.
Instead, we go to parties and gatherings, meet someone new, who out of their so called zeal to welcome you in will go on and on keeping up a friendly banter only for the shy or partially reserved guest to feel out of place and resort to not making an appearance the next time.
My only recourse in such situations where an attempt to draw out the person has not worked but has been perceived as inquisitive and prodding, has been to give up and then simply talk about the weather, the lack of water, the wonderful Shahrukh Khan and somehow it works like a charm.
Cheers then to the gift of gab and the power of Small Talk!
It has been a talisman that I have staunchly relied upon to get me through many uncomfortable meetings and interviews from then on.
In theory, meeting new people is exciting and exhilarating but in reality at least in my case the bundles of nerves and the anxiety of inadvertently saying something offensive at the least and making a total and utter fool of myself at the most accompany me throughout.
Of course, it doesn't help that in the years after I learned to spell my thoughts, literally and figuratively, a protective brittle shell also called a guard in the local lingo has gone up and grown higher and thicker like an invisible exoskeleton of a certain crawling annoyance.
And if an impulsive blabbermouth like me can have one the chances that most everyone I run into will have a sturdier one are definitely sky high.
Given this scenario, it is now easy to understand the slow death of this art form which enabled one to talk to another in forced upon situations without letting your companion know any better about your discomfort.
All this hullabaloo about being straight forward and saying what is on your mind with no pretense whatsoever has given rise to smart alecks who use this so called virtue to the worst use possible i.e. making fools of themselves and not entertaining ones at that.
Not to sound like a coiffed and gartered, early last century, progressive and educated woman of means but why should one say everything that comes into one's consciousness?
The self flattering notion that all our thoughts are important is something I prescribe to as well, but the important to whom part of it becomes a pertinent issue here.
Certainly, all my random thoughts may not be gold but strung together or seen through a mental microscope in retrospect, some may definitely be insightful into what makes me tick. Therefore they might be important in that sense only and unless I am Sheldon Cooper gone wild in the real world, off the television sight, such all pervading sense of omnipotence needs to be held in check in relation to another being and paraded on a personal stage with a complete set of arc lights, with a strict,
board pinned on.PERSONAL:NO OUTSIDERS ALLOWED
To make small talk, in practice to make oneself small, insignificant to allow the other to fare well in comparison often helps in getting past their inhibitions. Imagine, if both parties in the conversation practiced this, they could go on for hours just talking about inane things, drawing out the other one into a comfort zone, where each after successfully, secretly patting themselves on the back could gladly come forth and froth at the mouth about their rigid opinions.
In that context, it is possible that even two contradicting points of view could be gladly presented without a bar room brawl or any such coquettish display of vanity and a mutually acceptable agree to disagree decision could be made.
Instead, we go to parties and gatherings, meet someone new, who out of their so called zeal to welcome you in will go on and on keeping up a friendly banter only for the shy or partially reserved guest to feel out of place and resort to not making an appearance the next time.
My only recourse in such situations where an attempt to draw out the person has not worked but has been perceived as inquisitive and prodding, has been to give up and then simply talk about the weather, the lack of water, the wonderful Shahrukh Khan and somehow it works like a charm.
Cheers then to the gift of gab and the power of Small Talk!
1 comment:
Small talk often helps big time... to break ice and more often to break free.
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