I sometimes realise, actually get surprised to realise that I still am young.
With the perennial tone of disdain in my verbal and written communication, accompanied by the fact that over the last year i have been surrounded by people five years younger to me and people who are atleast ten years older than I am but forget to behave that way, it's been easy to forget how old or young I really am.
So much to accomplish, so much of life ahead of me and here I am already categorising it into slots and angles that fit right together and function well but may not provide neither peace nor beauty.
At times like this when someone younger than me has achieved a level of being that gives me a pang of envy and in its shadow guilt, I realise that there is some hope for me too.
That in spite of my redundancy in a world filled with my betters, and a breathing pattern that can spell 'cynic' or 'obese' depending on how you see it, I might have a window of potential, with a creaky, dusty pane that urges the OCD vaali in me to either stay away or carry a sanitizer, scares me and thrills me to bits but for the nagging, wagging, sardonic thought, 'Yeah! Right! Think that way and delude yourself, it won't take you far though!' that trails along, always.

As usual caught amidst a rambling thought that needed to be poured out lest I forget it and myself and forgetting that other things than I make this world what it is, irrespective of me being the central focus (or not as is more likely!!), can make this a very confusing to understand at a later indulgently nostalgic moment, let me just mention that watching the episode of Glee where Quinn Fabray portrayed by Diana Argon (Spell check needed for authenticity) meets with an accident, pushed me to look for details on the '86 born actress and in turn led to my characteristic narcissistic rant.

Bottom line, I've got a life ahead and figure something that I want to, need to do with it or at least enjoy the misery of non direction a little more!
Tedious but truly unmeasured and messy thinking egging me on to blurt all that comes right into my head just a fraction of a second before, leading me to think about the overrated value of honesty.

That however for a later time, when I won't remember why I said this! For now, it has to be adieu to my non stop nonsense at least in here!